23 Aug It’s Okay to Want to Win – in praise of competitive spirit
We often tell kids: “It’s not about winning.”
But what if, sometimes, it is?
In today’s culture, competition can feel like a dirty word. Children are praised just for showing up, and any desire to stand out is too quickly labeled as arrogance. But in life, and especially in sport, someone will always be better. That’s not a threat. That’s an invitation.
Wanting to win doesn’t make a child selfish.
Wanting to improve doesn’t make them “too much.”
It makes them hungry.
And hunger, guided by discipline, effort, and humility, is what builds a champion.
Being competitive doesn’t mean stepping on others. It means refusing to step back from your own potential. It’s about becoming your best self, even when it’s hard.
Of course, there are different paths. Venus and Serena Williams, two of the greatest women players of all time, didn’t compete as intensively in their junior days. Their father slowed things down on purpose, encouraging them to focus on school. And yet, Serena still turned pro at just 14. Their story shows that not every road looks the same. But it also proves that competitiveness, whether it’s in training or in mindset, cannot be avoided if you want to reach the top.
For the majority of young athletes, competitiveness is a skill that can (and should) be trained from an early age. Shielding children from competition doesn’t protect them, it weakens them.
If we want strong players, we can’t raise them to fear their own strength.
In some cultures, that’s easier said than done. In Croatia, where I’m from, you often hear:
“Blending in is safer.”
“Don’t be too different.”
And yet… this small country has won almost sixty Olympic medals. Not by blending in, but by standing out.
The lesson? Let’s teach children that it’s okay to go after what they want. It’s okay to want to win. As long as they keep growing while chasing it.